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The Liebster Award, or How I’ll Defeat a Giant Spider

Liebster Award

The time has come. The incredibly cool Ann of My Life with Wieners has nominated June and I for The Liebster Award!

She has six weiners dogs, one of them is her alter ego, and she writes beautiful, laugh-out-loud prose. Also, we both have a cat named Zoe. Her clan will make yours feel understood. You should go visit her right now.

Back? Okay.

The Liebster Award is bestowed upon up-and-coming bloggers by their peers. It helps us find and get to know each other.

This is why blogging is so great. Where else do you find such engaging and creative community support?

Now, the award requires me to answer some questions, and in an upcoming post I’ll pose questions to my Liebster Nominees!

Here we go:

1. Do you have an unusual relationship with anything?

I have a blog about my anxious dog, who inadvertently helps me with my own anxiety. So, yes, in many circles that is unusual. Just not in the one that reads my blog.

2. Where do you park yourself to write?

I have this little thrifted white writing desk. It was the first piece of furniture I bought with my own money as a 23-year-old assistant editor at a magazine about insurance in New York City. Back then, it was planted in a tiny room that both my roommates had to walk through to get to the kitchen.

Now it’s planted in front of a window in a small house, overlooking a big farm. My cats walk all over it, and me.

3. When is it necessary to make a list?

I make and abandon lists faster than June de-squeakers a new stuffed animal. The last list I wrote today was of posture-improving moves I need to do so I don’t get frozen in creepy-slumped-over-keyboard-alien-mode.

4. Do you believe it’s cheating to use a dictionary when playing Scrabble?

I do.

5. If you won a million dollars, would you blog about it?

I think so. Very carefully. Blogging sort of forces you to examine your choices, so maybe it would help stave off the lottery curse. OR I could blog about the curse befalling me… which would be awful, but great material.

6. Describe the oddest child/adult/ pet you ever met.

I met Norman the Scooter Dog!

7. Something’s gone wrong, and you have to seek shelter. You only have two choices. Where would you rather spend the night: in the Bronx Zoo or the New York subway?

This is so good. Have you ever seen Cloverfield? If not, you should.

Let’s see how each plays out:

SUBWAY

If I choose the subway I’ll probably end up in the middle of the G Train tunnel with a giant spider after me in one direction, and a train coming in the other. I’ll lie flat on the tracks and the train will run over me, leaving me unscathed but hit the spider! I go on to lead what’s left of the world.

ZOO

If I choose Zoo I’ll end up in the snake house with a hungry polar bear headed my way. I’ll have the chance to stick a rattlesnake on the bear, but I’ll hesitate because polar bears kind of look like dogs when they’re wet, and they are a threatened species, and I read the book Polar Bears by Ian Sterling.

The polar bear will eat me.

So Subway.

8. Who would be your favorite historical figure to have a quiet dinner with at home?

I used to make my parents read me the book Ben and Me, about Benjamin Franklin, incessantly. He’s the one. Even with his questionable personal life. Or maybe due to.

I know this isn’t the question, but if it was a fictional character: Mrs. Basil. E Frankweiler… at her house.

9. You get to have one life, but you have to choose: Would you rather be President of The United States or a monk/nun on an idyllic Mediterranean island raising goats and sheep?

Despite my answer to #7, I’m going with goats and sheep on this one.

10. It’s 2AM. You’re awake. What are you thinking about?

I have the anxiety superpower of going to sleep and waking up in the middle of a panic attack: I have anxiety while I’m asleep.

So I’m probably wondering if I’m breathing for about 5 minutes (while breathing fine), then as I’m just warming up to an existential crisis about the point of life, my black cat Zoe comes by to purr on my chest, and finally I fantasize about the Mediterranean monk’s life until I fall back asleep.

5 Comments Post a comment
  1. I love your answers! You said Yes to Scrabble! Finally someone agrees with me! My whole family thinks its ok to use a dictionary…makes it a learning experience, they say. I finally refused to play with them. ,I say, it misses the point of the game. We laugh about it a lot. We’re a very competative and contentious bunch, tho.

    Also, I do the same thing at two AM. Wake up not breathing enough, thinking negative thoughts….I’m sort of a panic attack person too. I think it’s modern life. Too much comfort in the midst of existential uncertainties and a crazed world parked right at our door in little lit up boxes.

    And finally, I too, would choose the goats and sheep, no question. They would be my Cabinet.

    I have to look up Cloverfield. Haven’t a clue.

    August 29, 2013
    • That is an amazing line: Too much comfort in the midst of existential uncertainties and a crazed world parked right at our door in little lit up boxes.

      This was so fun! Thank you again so much for including me!!

      August 29, 2013
  2. Great questions and answers. Have not seen Cloverfield. Is it scary? Or campy? Campy-scary I can handle. Gorey-scary I can’t!

    August 29, 2013
    • Thanks! It’s sort of a mix between campy and psychological. Like Blair Witch Project meets Godzilla … I want to claim credit for that mash-up but I think I read it somewhere. Or maybe a little like an m night shyamalan movie. But one of the earlier ones 🙂

      August 30, 2013
      • Cool. Will have to check it out. I’m sure the hubs would dig it.

        August 30, 2013

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